Alive
by MurderKarp
Summary: Ryou wants to rid himself of the spirit of the ring, and sees death as the only way to do it. Tendershipping  Ryou x Bakura  One-shot. Almost Suicide fic. Rated for Language and content. Somewhat fluffy.


Author's Note:

Here's a new fic. I wrote this one for a friend as well. My friend Beth requested that I write her a tendershipping fic, and here's what came of that request. It's a little bittersweet in comparison to my last one, and shorter. 'Tolerance' was 20 pages, and this was only 7, give or take a page or two.

Just so everyone knows:

Ryou is the hikari/good Ryou Bakura

Bakura is the yami/bad Ryou (the spirit of the ring)

Be warned, there are spoilers to the Millennium World plot. c:

* * *

Ryou stood before the tub, his eyes glossing over as he stared into the crystal clear water that filled the porcelain bowl. The faucet dumped water into the bowl, causing water to splatter. He knelt down, twisting the knobs of the tub until the water shut off. Silence settled in the white bathroom. A look of melancholy settled upon Ryou's features. His eyebrows pointed up at each other, and his chocolate eyes were fixated on the still water. He wanted this silence to stay forever. The peace of mind was too good to be true, and he wanted to stay in the state of peace for as long as possible.

He had tried to deal with the guilt that had burrowed its way into his heart. He knew it was his fault. His friends he invited over would not have been comatose if it they did not know him. He knew what the cause was. The spirit that lived within the gift he received from his father was to blame, and he knew the spirit was not gone. He figured the only way to end any of this was to die, and he had come to terms with it. He had tried several different scenarios, but had never had the strength to pull through. A frail finger traced a dark scar that ran up his arm. There were smaller ones up his other arm. That had been his first attempt, but the spirit had saved him when he had begged for help.

Others had followed, all failing due to his inability to finish the act. However, this time would be different. He dropped to his knees. Ryou whispered a silent prayer before plunging his head into the water, disturbing the crystal-clear peace. He held his breath at first, deciding if this was the way he wanted to go. He finally decided it was, and gasped for air. Water filled his lungs, and he gagged. His body stayed still, but internally he was struggling with himself. He was forcing himself to stay under. He was ready to enter death's door. A smile spread across his face as his mind slipped away.

'Dammit, Ryou!' the incessant voice growled in the back of Ryou's mind. The hikari tried to shove the voice away, but it engulfed him. He felt his reign over the shared body slip, and his yami began taking over. His body shot up, and he gasped for air. His wet, silver locks of hair stuck to his face as his body collapsed to the ground. A groan escaped his lips, and he coughed. The water that was sitting in his lungs stung. His hands shot to his throat, caressing as they did so.

Bakura seemed to materialize next to Ryou. His body was translucent. Ryou could see the background through the colors that painted Bakura's body. He crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at the hikari in a disapproving manner. The angry yami was the exact replica of Ryou. Only a few differences could be observed between the two.

Ryou reached for the ring that sat beside him, slipping the cord around his neck as he did so. He had not realized that he had fallen onto the ring. He cursed at his obliviousness. One would think he'd notice the spike beneath his knee.

"Let me do it," Ryou about cried, tears stinging at his eyes as he did so. Bakura stepped back from his hikari. His eyes were a hard glare. Ryou could feel his yami's stare go right through him.

'I need you alive,' Bakura grunted. The male cautiously moved around Ryou before sitting next to his hikari. 'Get the fuck over it, already,' he hissed. Ryou looked up at him. He lashed out with his hand, aiming to strike his yami's cheek. However, his hand went straight through Bakura's face. Ryou pulled the hand away, the depression birthing anger. He knew the spirit was real. Yugi and the gang knew it as well, but he could not help but feel a tad crazy when he could not even touch what was before him.

"Just…just shut up!" Ryou squeaked, not knowing where the sudden courage to stand up for himself was coming from. He pushed off of the floor, not wanting to be next to the spirit. He stepped away, pulling his white jumper off of his torso as he did so. He tossed it towards the spirit, only to have the jumper pass through the translucent yami.

'I see you finally have some balls,' Bakura hissed. He stood up, following Ryou. 'Do you have the balls to continue this petty existence, then?'

"You…you…" Ryou hiccupped, the tears finally falling down his cheeks. He walked out of the bathroom, slamming the door to leave Bakura behind it. Ryou knew that would do nothing. As long as the ring was around his neck, the spirit would be with him. Slamming the door just made him feel a teensy bit better.

The male raced to his bedroom so he could throw himself upon the bed that awaited him. He curled up in the mess of navy blue sheets that awaited him. He buried his face in his pillow to muffle the sobs that came from his body. He had no idea what the hell was wrong with him. He was speaking to a spirit that should not have existed, and he was unable to grow close to friends. The spirit, whom he had thought to be imaginary at first, hurt anyone he allowed near him. The loneliness he felt was overwhelming. He had not felt that lonely since his had died in the tragic car accident.

Ryou's sobs finally died off as he cried himself to a deep slumber.

The mental sleep did not last long, and Ryou was not thankful for that. His eyes shot open, and he examined the area he was in. The covers were not over him, and there was nothing but eternal darkness. He knew the darkness better than he would have hoped for. He got to his feet, looking around for the face of his other half.

"You need to get your head out of your ass," Bakura's voice rang through Ryou's ears as he materialized before the hikari. The darkness birthed his other half in front of him. Ryou's eyes narrowed, and he put his hands in front of him in a defensive manner.

Ryou stepped back, not wanting the confrontation. They always ended with him getting hurt after his yami snapped. It was never something Ryou looked forward to, or even yearned to have happen.

"Why won't you let me go through with it?" Ryou about cried out, his hands balling into fists. The hikari's brows furrowed deeply as he stared at the darkness that dwelled within his heart. "You killed Pegasus with my body, and I remember!" Ryou stared down at his hands. He could see the image of his other self killing the millionaire to steal the eye that did not belong to any of them.

Bakura cackled at the accusation. He stepped toward Ryou. The still darkness seemed to move around him as he moved. Inside the ring was Bakura's realm. The darkness waited for his orders, as if it were capable of being anything but black. Ryou was not sure if the scenery could change. He had never been around long enough to see if the darkness did end or not.

"My puppet, you need to shut your mouth," Bakura began as he stepped towards his hikari. He reached out, taking a hold of Ryou's pale wrist. He jerked it forward so he could push up the white sleeve of the male's wool jumper. Bakura's eyes traced the dark scar. "I can't have you injuring this body. As I have stated, I need it, but I don't need you." His voice was sharp. Ryou could feel it stabbing at him as his yami spoke.

"Let go-"

"Shut up." Bakura was getting irritated. The darkness was starting to sift, as if imitating the irritation Bakura seemed to be emanating. "It would be in your best interest to just hand the body over to me without a fight, otherwise I'll take it."

Ryou's soft eyes formed a petty excuse for a glare. He turned it toward Bakura, showing he had enough fight to not just hand his body over to the source of the anguish he felt.

"You think you have a right to feel that kind of pain?" Bakura cackled again, pushing Ryou to the ground. He pounced onto his hikari. His hand shot out to hold Ryou's head back. The yami's red eyes were crazier than usual. Ryou feared for what his yami might do. He did not want to be ended in this manner.

"Get off of me, you…you…you jerk!" Ryou screamed.

Bakura simply chuckled at the attempt to insult him, "I'm so offended, Ryou." The darkness around him formed a dagger in mid air. Bakura reached for the handle wrapped in red cloth. He brought the silver blade down to Ryou's pale throat, applying enough pressure to tear the skin. Crimson blood contrasted against his pale skin as it dribbled down. The mint green polo caught the beads as they fell. Ryou hissed at the dull pain that throbbed where the cold blade was being pressed against his throat.

"Please get off me," Ryou whispered, the courage now leaving him. He knew from the beginning he was not strong enough to fight off the spirit. That was the main reason he saw suicide as the only way to fight the spirit. He knew people would miss him, but he had to protect others from the violence of his yami. "Bakura! You're hurting me!" He cried.

Bakura froze where he was at, blade still pressed against his hikari's throat. He stared down at his hikari, eyes wide. His eyes lost all traces of his insanity as the darkness began moving around the two. The darkness swirled around Bakura before engulfing him completely. The knife fell from Ryou's throat, clanging against the black floor he was laying upon.

The hikari stayed still, staring into the spot where his yami had just been. He did not keep track of the long moments that passed while he stayed still. He was trying to will himself awake. He needed to wake up and finish the job, but he could not find consciousness in the mortal realm. He finally got to his feet.

He was not just going to lie there and let Bakura take over his body. He was going to wander around the ring, in hope of finding some sort of escape. He had never investigated the realm of the ring.

He followed a straight, self-set path. If he did not find an escape, Ryou was hoping to find something about the spirit of the ring. His yami seemed to know everything about him, yet he was completely oblivious to his darker half. He only knew of the other's existence, but nothing more. He did not know any history behind the spirit, or even what his real name was.

Time passed as Ryou wandered on his path. He had no idea if he had walked in circles, or was walking for no cause. Feelings of defeat were beginning to set in when he had finally bumped into a door. There was nothing particularly interesting about the door when he saw it, except that it was standing in the middle of the nothingness. It was not attached to any walls. It was just there. Ryou did not understand how he could see anything in the endless darkness, but he could tell the door was a cherry red color.

He slid his hand over the smooth surface until it hit the silver doorknob. The knob had an intricate design engraved into it, and upon further inspection of the door, Ryou noticed ancient hieroglyphics that decorated the cherry colored wood. He stared at the entrance before slowly turning the knob, and pushing it in.

Ryou held his breath as he stepped through the door. His eyes were shut tightly, as if he were expecting a monster to jump out at him. He heard the door slam shut behind him, and his eyes fluttered open. His eyes darted around the new, bright scenery he had found himself in. The moon and stars were up high in the sky, lighting up the endless sand dunes that replaced the nothingness. His lips parted slightly in awe at the little village that occupied the middle of the new landscape.

Ryou shuffled toward the village, having decided that this had to be one of the secrets of the millennium puzzle. He wanted to know what the secret had to offer. Perhaps it was how it came into creation? He could only hope so. He wanted it to give him clues as to how to rid himself of his evil entity.

He could hear screaming coming from the village as he drew closer, and with each scream he found himself walking even faster. He strode over the sand, not paying attention to anything but the chaos in the village. He found himself in an alleyway that was occupied by one other. A tanned child with silver hair stood in the alley, eyes wide. He was peering around the corner of the alley. Ryou could feel the fear and desolation the child was feeling.

He came up behind the silver haired child, and reached for his shoulder. The child looked up at Ryou, tears beginning to pour out of his eyes. The skin beneath his right eye began to tear by itself, and blood spilled from the wound. The child was cackling as he cried, his shoulders shaking.

Ryou's brows furrowed as he examined the child. He knew this insanity. He knelt down, and brought the child into a hug. He glanced around the corner to see what the child was seeing, and only caught a glimpse of bodies being thrown into a pit before darkness gobbled the scene up again.

The child had silenced himself once in Ryou's embrace.

"Why are you doing this?" The little boy asked. His eyes were turned towards Ryou's face.

Ryou gave a shrug, pulling the boy even closer than he already was. "I think I understand you now, Bakura," Ryou whispered. He could feel the boy's body shifting within his arms. He felt the body grow in length, but the child-like frailness of the body was still there. Ryou pulled away from his yami.

"Forget what you saw," Bakura demanded. Ryou shook his head, leaning up to nuzzle his yami's head with his own. Bakura did not like that Ryou had seen him during his most vulnerable hour. Even if it was but a memory, Bakura did not want to be seen as vulnerable, especially by his hikari.

"You saw all those people d-"

"Shut up," Bakura warned once more.

"You saw them die…and, I understand why yo-"

"I thou-" Bakura had cut him off again. However, Ryou was not going to let him get away with it. He pushed himself forward, pressing his lips against his yami's. He had cut his yami off in his own way, and that was through affection.

Bakura was still as they kissed. Their simple peck quickly evolved into a kiss of fiery passion. The two stayed there, their minds completely blank. It was as if they finally could understand one another. Bakura had time to look through Ryou's memories before then, and he knew what motivated his hikari. Now Ryou knew what motivated the hatred, the anger, and the desolation that Bakura harbored. Neither had voiced what they felt. They knew that witnessing the events with their own eyes was the only reason they were having such a moment. Their mutual understanding came from each witnessing first hand what had happened.

They hungrily ate away at the passion, both eager to make it last. They did nothing but kiss. Bakura left a trail of kisses following the scar on Ryou's arm, as if it would heal the scars up. Ryou returned the kisses with his own, following where the scar under Bakura's right eye should have been, had he not been Ryou's exact replica. They both wanted to correct the wrong in each other's lives, and fix things. They wanted to be separate people, and they wanted to lead different lives, yet they knew this could only be a one-night stand.

Bakura was but a five-thousand-year-old spirit, and Ryou was only his host.

Bakura broke away first, having decided that was all the restraint he had. If the circumstances had been different, he was sure he would have taken Ryou right then. However, their situation would not allow that. He stared at Ryou. The insanity had not returned to his eyes. It was the only moment they would share where both of them were completely rational.

"I'm sorry," Ryou muttered, his cheeks tinting red.

"I love you," Bakura whispered. "I just want you to know that before…" His voice trailed off.

Ryou nodded, knowing what he meant. He chuckled, burying his face in his hands. "I understand…and…I…erm…love you…too…" His face burned even brighter.

They both knew that the love had been there from the beginning. They shared a strange love that was birthed from their spiritual connection, though the love had changed during their time together. Ryou also understood there would be a time when his spirit would leave him, and perhaps that was why he never could bring himself to finishing his attempts at suicide. He wanted to be with the spirit until it was time for them to part.

Bakura scooted closer to Ryou, taking one of his hikari's hands. He brought his hikari's hand up to his lips so he could kiss it softly. Ryou looked up at him from behind heavily lidded eyes.

"I hate you at the same time," Bakura said between kisses.

"I feel the same for you."

Bakura chuckled at the bold statement. The two would sit in the darkness until his sanity was up, and when that time came, their moment of passion would end. Ryou did not want that moment to come, but he knew it was inevitable. The two would enjoy this for as long as possible.

Ryou closed his eyes, and began wishing for more time. He wished for future moments of complete sanity in Bakura for the two to enjoy one another. The madness was beginning to return to his yami, and he could feel his spiritual-consciousness slipping from him. His body was calling for his soul, and he could no longer hold onto the realm of the ring.

Ryou awoke still rolled up in his sheets. He glanced at the alarm clock next to his bed. It was a quarter to nine. He pushed himself out of bed, and hobbled over to the window. He pulled the curtains back to reveal a stream of light coming through the window. His eyes narrowed, trying to block some of the brightness out.

A melancholy smile appeared on his face. The new day was bright, and inviting, but he would never be able to share it with the person he loved.

'Stupid,' Bakura said as his translucent form materialized beside him.

Ryou looked over at the spirit, who sat on the bed.

'Get dressed. You have shit to do today.'

Ryou stared down at his arms. It was the first day he had woken up, and had not thought about how to get rid of the spirit. Instead, he looked forward to being with the spirit until it was time for their struggle to end.

* * *

So, that was 'Alive'~ I hope you all enjoyed it. ^-^

The next fic I'm writing is also for a friend, and will be a little (Yami) Malik x Yugi one-shot. If anyone has any requests on pairings, I suppose I'll take them. I've only been writing fics for people as of late. Haha.


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